Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
