Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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