I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green