there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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