Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize