I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
