My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
