I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize