yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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