when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
