My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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