my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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