jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
