Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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