okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
