i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
