its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
