The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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