the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if only i could text you this smell
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
