You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
