what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
