In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
