I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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