Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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