He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
