Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
