My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
