the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize