it wasn't lemon gatorade
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize