isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
