He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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