the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
