they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
