is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
