I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
