it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
