just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
