It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize