I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
