Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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