I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
