So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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