3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
