About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
