Apparently you make a good broom.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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