turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
