i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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