I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
