playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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