are you still at the devil's house?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
