whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
