Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
