Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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