Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
