what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
