i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
